Are You an  Oklahoman?

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An Oklahoma Today Quiz

Start at zero and add or subtract accordingly.

 

NOTE: This quiz appears as it was printed in the March/April 2003 issue of Oklahoma Today.

 

1. If you eat ranch dressing on more than just your salad, add 5. If you prefer a green salad with light Italian on the side and think ranch refers only to the place where cows and horses live, subtract 5.

2. If you know what "Oklahoma" means, add 5. If you know what language the word derives from, add 10.

3. If you can belt out the state song, add 5. Don't know when Oklahoma received statehood? Subtract 5.

4. If you've visited the Round Barn, the Blue Whale, or the National Route 66 Museum, add 5. If you've never driven a stretch of Oklahoma Route 66, subtract 15.

5. If you've ever raised garden-fresh tomatoes, add 3. If you've never eaten homegrown tomatoes, subtract 3.

6. If you have an OU or OSU decal on your car, add 3. If you have a longhorn decal on your car, subtract 10. If it's upside down, add 3 instead.

7. If you've read Mankiller's biography, add 5. If you think Mankiller is a legal term, subtract 10. 

8. If you can name Oklahoma's first Republican governor, add 7. 

9. If you know who Stand Watie is, add 7.  If you think Stand Watie is what you do in line at the Wal-Mart, subtract 3. 

10. If you can name or describe a piece of art at the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum in Oklahoma City, add 5.  If you've never hear of the museum, subtract 7. 

11. If you can name four country superstars from Oklahoma, add 2.  If you went to high school with them, add 4. If you are related to one of them, add 12.

12. If you can correctly pronounce Miami, Durant, Prague, and Gotebo, add 5. 

13. If a man has ever told you your purse is the same color as his John Deere tractor, add 10. 

14. If you think Oklahoma is in the South, add 1.  If you're positive Oklahoma is in the West, add 1. If you believe that, without a doubt, Oklahoma is in the Midwest, add 1.

15. If you've ever dined under the soulful gaze of a mounted 12-point buck, add 4.  If you thought he was delicious, add 5 more. 

16. If you know the identity of the man with the whistle in this picture add 3.  If you know his real first name, add 4. If you know his record, add 10.

17. If you know the fate of the USS Oklahoma, add 10. 

18. For each of the Kiowa five artists you can name, add 4.  If you can name the group's patron, add another 4. 

19. Did you attend college out of state? Subtract 2.  Have you lived in Oklahoma all your life? Add 15. Are you back in Oklahoma after moving away for more than five years? Add 10.  Do you currently live outside Oklahoma? Subtract 5.  Do you currently live outside Oklahoma but subscribe to Oklahoma Today? Add 5.

20. If you can name Oklahoma's first capital city, add 3.  If you can name the year the capital moved to its present location, add 8 more.

21. If you think cowboy boots go well with a tuxedo, add 8.  If you have ever been in a truck limousine, add another 5. If you've been to a monster truck jam, add 3.  If you own a monster truck, add 12.

22. If you've read: S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders, add 4. Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, add 6. Ralph Ellson's The Invisible Man, add 8. Michael Wallis' Oil Man, add 10. Woody Guthrie's Bound for Glory, add 12. Angie Debo's A History of the Indians of the United States, add 15. If your favorite book is The Gates of the Alamo, by Stephen Harrigan, subtract 5.

23. For each of the four OU/OSU Heisman trophy winners you can name, add 4.  If you find college football as interesting as watching grass grow, subtract 10.

24. If you go to the beauty shop to get your hair done, add 6.  If you are a client who goes only to salons and sees a stylist for your color weave, subtract 5.

25. If you're a fourth-generation Oklahoman, add 10.  Third-generation? Add 5.

26.> If a Garth Brooks CD or cassette tape has never entered your music collection, subtract 3.  If you own the box set, add 3.

27. If you know where Jimmy Webb, Reba McEntire, Thomas P. Stafford, and Carl Albert were born, add 5 for each correct answer.

28. If you know the identity of "the little giant from Little Dixie," add 5. 

29. If you lost money in the 1982 collapse of Penn Square Bank, go ahead, add 6. You deserve it.

30. If you smile at strangers, add 3.  If you routinely start conversations with strangers, add 4. If the friendly cashier at the IGA makes you nervous, subtract 5.

31. If you traveled to and from all of your high school dates in a pickup truck, add 5.  If you're still riding in it, add 3 more.

32. If you stayed in Oklahoma for your honeymoon, add 15. 

33. For each of the Five Civilized Tribes you can name, add 1 point. 

34. If you've ever attended the Red River Rivalry, add 5. If you think the Red River Rivalry is a battle for water passageway ownership, subtract 3.

35. If you've never seen Oklahoma! (the movie or the play), subtract 10. If you've seen one or the other more than once, add 4.

36. Are you a vegetarian? Subtract 2. 

37. If you understand what "bedlam" means in Oklahoma, add 5.  If you know what "A House Divided" bumper stickers means, add another 5. If you're a member of such a household, bless you, and add 5.

38. If you can name architect Frank Lloyd Wright's "tree that escaped the crowded forest," add 6. 

39. If you know the lyrics to "B.C. Clark's Christmas Jingle," add 3. 

40. If you've ever dined at an establishment where you can simultaneously order a chicken-fried steak, gas up the truck, get a fishing license, and read the local paper, add 6.  If you can buy cattle dewormer there, too, add 5 more.

41. If you know what a brush hog is, add 5. 

42. If you own a pair of Rockies, add 3.  If you ever bought a pair of Rockies one size too small, add 2. If you think Rockies are just a mountain range out West, subtract 5.

43. If you know who said "Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there," add 4. 

44. If you regularly meet friends for morning coffee at 6 a.m., add 5.  If you meet at the co-op, add 3. If the conversation involves the weather, ag futures, or politics, add another 3.

45. If you have the right of way at a four-way stop but wave everybody else on anyway, add 6.  If you fail to give the hand-on-steering-wheel wave as they pass, subtract 5.

46. If you've ever attended a rodeo, add 5.  If you wore Birkenstocks, subtract 2.

47. If you know what the Latin term Gaillardia means, add 7.  If you think Gaillardia is a mispronunciation of a Dallas shopping mall, subtract 10.

48. If you have a PikePass, add 5.  If you think PikePass is a fancy football or fishing term, subtract 6.

49. If you know the difference between a small-mouth bass and a spotted bass, add 3.  If you think the word "crappie" is a misspelling of the expletive "crappy," subtract 3.

50. And finally, for every year you've subscribed to Oklahoma Today, add 1. For every gift subscription you give, add 1. For every gift subscription you start today, add 2. For every issue you have in your home library, add 1. If someone passed this quiz on to you because you're not a subscriber, shame on you.  Subscribe now, and add 10.

Are You an Oklahoman? Answers:

2. Oklahoma means "Home of the Red Man" from the Choctaw words "okla," meaning people, and "humma" meaning red. 3. Visitwww.OK.gov or www.travelok.com for the lyrics to "Oklahoma!" Statehood was granted on November 16, 1907. 8. Henry Bellmon of Billings was elected Oklahoma's first Republican governor in 1962. 9. Stand Watie was a Cherokee and the last Confederate general to surrender in the Civil War. 10. For starters, look for the 18' tall marble Canyon Princess or the Frederic Remington painting, In from the Night Herd. 11. Our picks: Reba McEntire, Kiowa High School; Garth Brooks, Yukon High School; Toby Keith, Moore High School; Vince Gill, Northwest Classen High School.  12. Miami (my-a-muh), Durant (dur-ant), Prague (prayge), Gotebo (go-te-bo). 16. The man in the photo is legendary OU football coach Bud Wilkinson. His first name is Charles, and his record was 145-29-4. 17. The USS Oklahoma was bombed and sank at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. 18. The Kiowa Five are Spencer Asah, James Auchiah, Jack Hokeah, Stephen Mopope, and Monroe Tsatoke. Their patron was Oscar Jacobson. 20. Guthrie was the first capital of Oklahoma. It moved to Oklahoma City on June 11, 1910. 23. OU: Billy Vessels, Steve Owens, and Billy Sims. OSU: Barry Sanders. 27. Jimmy Webb: Born in Elk City (1946). Reba McEntire: Born in Chockie (1955). Thomas P. Stafford: Born in Weatherford (1930). Carl Albert: Born in Bugtussle (1908). 28. The "little giant from Little Dixie" is Carl Albert. 33. The Five Civilized Tribes are Cherokee, Chickasaw, Choctaw, Creek, and Seminole. 37. Bedlam is the name given to the sports rivalry between OSU and OU. "A House Divided" is one in which one member is an OSU loyalist, another an OU fan. 38. The "tree that escaped the crowded forest" is Price Tower in Bartlesville. 39. Check out www.bcclark.com for lyrics to the jingle. 41. "Brush hog" refers to the piece of equipment which clears brush from a field. 43. Will Rogers. 47. The Gaillardia, or Indian Blanket, is the official state wildflower. The Dallas shopping mecca is the Galleria. 49. Small-mouth bass frequent clear, gravel-bottom streams in Oklahoma, whereas spotted bass are more tolerant of slow, warm, turbid water and tend to inhabit the flowing streams of eastern Oklahoma.

How Did You Score?

Below zero  Damn Yankee!

The points don't lie; you need Oklahoma trivia, fast. Either you are denying your southern savvy or you haven't discovered your inner Okie. But there is time to change. Grab some chicken-fried steak and a fishing pole and head to the Sooner State, ASAP. Before you know it, you'll be cheering for crimson or orange and humming Toby Keith's "How Do You Like Me Now?"

0-99  Okie Newbie

Whether a new import or a bit rusty, you have a little red dirt under the wheels of your pickup. You know proper tornado drill protocol, but you just aren't singin' with Vince-yet. IF you live large in Boston or Los Angeles, take some time to explore all of Oklahoma, from the Coleman Theatre in Miami (make sure you pronounce it my-a-muh) to the Quartz Mountains near Lone Wolf. Remember: Practice makes perfect.

100-224  Sooner Pioneer

Echoing the state song (like we needed to tell you that), "We're only sayin' you're doin' fine, Oklahoma!" You have what it takes to be a true-blue Oklahoman, but you haven't reached master status. Even though you need to brush up on the year of the land rush (1889) or practice "Oklahoma Hills," for you, Oklahoma is here to stay.

225+  Will Rogers' Kin

Wiley. Woody. And you! Red dirt flows through your veins, along with a little oil. You are geared with mistletoe, scissor-tailed flycatcher, and fiddle. You live by the motto "Labor Conquers All Things," zip around the state with your trusty PikePass, and have a lifetime subscription to the Chronicles of Oklahoma-not to mention Oklahoma Today! You have never met a stranger and always carry a copy or two of the state map. We salute you, learned citizen.