Four More Oklahoma Mascots We Want On Twitter

I’m trying to make it a point not to do too much complaining during the quarantine. After all, I remain gainfully employed, am fully stocked up on toilet paper despite not having made the choice to buy enormous amounts of it, and am happily married to someone with whom I don’t mind being cooped up all day.

My main problem has been combating boredom. With no concerts, restaurants, movie theaters, or gatherings of ten or more to go to, I find myself turning to too-long-unread books, streaming platforms, FaceTime calls with friends and family, and Stardew Valley to fill the non-work hours. Also, I’ve spent a lot of time on PetFinder falling in love with this or that adoptable pit bull terrier and then forcing myself to fall back out of love with them, as another dog is not in my current cards. (Seriously, though, would someone please adopt Ripley? She’s only got one leg!)

So how thankful was I when the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum in Oklahoma City turned its social media over to Tim, their head of security, on March 17?

Now that is how you social media during a shutdown, folks. Tim’s been giving the museum’s Twitter followers a Night at the Museum-eye view of one of Oklahoma’s most enduringly popular landmarks, and I am here for it—from his goof-ups (“Twitter tips, please”) to his look at some of the collection’s coolest items, including this prop from one of my favorite Western films of all time:

But it’s got me wondering: What other iconic Oklahoma spots would I like to see giving us a rare behind-the-curtain glimpse of their nooks and crannies during this shutdown? I got to thinking, and I came up with a few.

The Blue Whale of Catoosa

Catoosa's famed Blue Whale. Photo by Lori Duckworth.

This is one of Route 66’s most beloved icons, and I can’t believe no one’s set up a Twitter account for it yet. It just begs for a motion detector connected to a WiFi hotspot that automatically tweets “Nom nom nom” every time someone ventures inside the giant whale’s mouth. Possibly with #Jonah attached.

The Philbrook Cats

Cleome the cat enjoys the Philbrook in her own way. Photo by Philbrook Museum of Art.

If I could choose one building in which to live out the quarantine, it would absolutely be the Philbrook Museum of Art. The Italianate villa in south Tulsa with its long galleries filled with mind-bending art, its unbelievable restaurant, and oh, those gardens. I’d spend all day wandering them, taking my Microsoft Teams meetings and Zoom calls from Karl Unnasch’s Slumgullion cabin and saying hello to all the cats. But since I can’t do that—they have repeatedly informed me I cannot—I’d love a Twitter account manned by the cats. “Ate some birds today!” “Batted a paw at the giant koi pond, but who am I kidding? I don’t need the calories.” But until someone gets on this incredibly good content idea, I’m delighted just to know I can be pen pals with these funny felines.

General Thomas P. Stafford

This exhibit of Gen. Stafford can be found at the Stafford Air & Space Museum in Weatherford. Photo by Lori Duckworth.

I grew up in Weatherford literally across the street from the airport that now houses a museum dedicated to the Apollo astronaut Thomas P. Stafford, and I’ve been lucky enough to interview him on a couple occasions. He’s hilarious, cantankerous, and every bit as full of stories and wild-eyed confidence as you’d expect from someone who’d piloted an orbiter around the far side of the Moon and back all while performing the first-ever lunar-orbit rendezvous with a Soviet capsule. Can we hand this guy a Twitter account, please? He’s going to turn nine decades old this year, and I want to give him the opportunity to put in the public record nearly every thought he’s ever had.

The Country’s Smallest National Park

The smallest U.S. National Park in Guthrie. Photo by Justin Fortney.

This is one of my favorite pieces of weird Oklahoma trivia: Guthrie is home to the country’s smallest national park. Here’s what happened: After statehood, Guthrie was setting out its city boundaries and intended to mark off a hundred-foot-by-hundred-foot parcel of land to commemorate the importance of its original 1889 Land Run office. A transcribing error led the city clerk to allot only a hundred square feet and, since the parcel sat on the same property as the local post office, the land fell under federal protection and now is technically a national park—complete with rangers whom it shares with the Oklahoma City National Memorial and Museum. I’d set up notifications for a Twitter account from Tiny Park, including in-depth threads about the microbiomes that exist within the ten-foot-by-ten-foot national park and videos of visitors trying to play Ultimate Frisbee or tackle football without going outside the park’s boundaries.

Oklahoma’s nothing if not weird, so I fully expect one or more of these Twitter accounts to exist before this quarantine period is over. In the meantime, I can rewatch Tiger King, listen to my favorite Flaming Lips records, and dream of seeing all you beautiful Okie weirdos out there once more when we’re through all this. Until then, stay safe, stay healthy, and stay home.

Written By

Nathan Gunter

A sixth-generation Oklahoman, Weatherford native, and Westmoore High School graduate, Nathan Gunter is the magazine's editor-in-chief. When he's not editor-in-chiefing, Nate enjoys live music, running, working out, gaming, cooking, and random road trips with no particular destination in mind. He holds degrees from Wake Forest University and the University of Oklahoma. He learned how to perform poetry from Maya Angelou; how to appreciate Italian art from Terisio Pignatti; comedy writing from Doug Marlette; how to make coconut cream pie from his great-grandma; and how not to approach farm dogs from trial and error. A seminary dropout, he lives just off Route 66 in Oklahoma City.