What Now: Pressure Me This

Erik Charlson is Oklahoma Today's spring intern. Each week, in What Now, he'll take us on his journey learning about Oklahoma and navigating an uncertain future.

Comparisons have two outcomes: feeling inadequate, or a false sense of superiority. Unfortunately, people can’t seem to help comparing one another. Anything can become a competition if you let it, and this is the nature of our fast paced world. This can be a good thing, but we often misplace our competitive spirit with competitive haste. Navigating through the standard obstacles of life can be daunting, but when you begin comparing yourself to others, things get even more complicated.

It’s a waste of time. In my experience, comparison only brings you down and causes unneeded stress. If you think your friends or family have things all figured out, they don’t. No one has their whole life under control. If someone seems like they do it is likely they work very hard to put up that facade.

What does it even mean to have “things all figured out”? It is a broad saying that no one ever fully achieves. I have spoken with older family members and friends about stress, and from what I can tell there is always something keeping them from the mighty “things all figured out” stage of life. That’s because we never have that stage. No one reaches it, and it is unfair to yourself to strive for that.

Not having everything planned out is natural. Life without problems would be pointless. These issues we face give life that extra kick and you come out the other end a better person.

While hoping to become this better person, I am at a phase in my life where everyone I know is taking vastly different next steps. People who I used to be in the same boat as are now sailing off and it can be confusing on where I should go next. However, I admire what my friends are doing with their lives, and I use them as motivation to create opportunities for myself.

Replacing competition with inspiration is not easy, and I still struggle with that. For example, when a friend has something great happen, of course you are happy, but everyone has that pesky voice that asks, “Why haven’t I achieved that yet?” It’s a true internal struggle. And it is difficult to drown out that voice.

It is important to stay motivated, and competition is that driving force for a lot of people. Competition is a healthy thing, but when it turns into simply comparing yourself to peers, problems arise. Trying to find a balance between these two things is my current challenge.

No two people come from the same place or have the same experiences, so there is no use in comparing yourself to a life you haven’t lived. I am trying to be someone who drowns out the pesky voice and just keep moving forward to what’s next. Now if I could only figure out what that could be.

Written By

Erik Charlson